This is adapted from an email I sent out to my community on August 4, 2022, marking new beginnings - including the creation of this blog.
To my friends and mentors,
I gave notice on July 21, and July 31 was my last day at Axuall, Inc. as an Associate Product Manager. Here what I said to my VP of Engineering when I informed him of my resignation:
When we were at the Butcher and the Brewer and finally grappled with the insurmountable dysfunction in our company, one of the most important takeaways from that day was how powerful it is to live in reality. And how corrupting it is to live in unreality.
I am making this decision to stand in my own reality. This was not an easy decision.
There have been a lot of periods at Axuall that have been really hard, where the directive is always: “hey guys, let’s stick through this - it’ll be worth it on the other side…”
I no longer believe this.
I’m a high energy, very expressive person. I cannot project confidence authentically in my role anymore. It’s hard for me to motivate myself without direction.
I would rather end on a strong note. The most honest decision I can make right now is to quit. It would be a disservice to others and it would be a violation of my integrity to keep collecting a paycheck and working minimally when I don’t feel there is a future for me here.
So, it’s time for me to move on.
This decision is the hardest I’ve made this past year. I received a lot of good advice from many mentors to stick it out as long as I could until I could find another job. Ultimately, however, I realized that I needed to leave, in order for me to clear my mind of doubt and take control of the situation and my future.
I made a bet on myself. I find power and strength in that.
In the past few years, there have been several periods when I’ve faced enormous proverbial storms on the horizon, and could choose between staying near shore, returning to port, or driving farther out to sea.
I choose to believe that my greatest periods of growth have come when I sail straight into the eye of the storm. Deferring my admission to medical school was one. Deciding to do Venture for America and move to Cleveland last August to work in startups was another. This decision to quit is the latest.
I take full responsibility for this decision and accept every consequence. I don’t know what will come next, and that’s both uncomfortable and exciting. Ambiguity smells a lot like optionality. Uncertainty tastes a lot like freedom.
I am blessed to have a community that I’ve leaned on for support in these last two years. People who have believed in me when I’ve forgotten to believe in myself; who provide clarity and context on paths ahead; who have given me space, time, advice, and love.
Thank you. I consider you family, and I love you.
As I explore this next adventure, it’s going to be hard. I’ll need you on my journey more than ever. I look forward to dreaming, doing, and growing with you.
I’ll talk to each of you soon ;)
Parth Vishal Agrawal
